Phuck Phred

By now you’ve heard that Fred Phelps, leader of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka of ‘God Hates Fags’ fame is on his deathbed.

Lots of people have an opinion about this. They mostly fall into two camps: “I’m glad the asshole is dying and I hope he burns in hell!” or “Even Fred deserves forgiveness and peace. I wish him no ill will.”

I understand the first camp, though I don’t consider myself a member. The second camp I don’t get at all, though I respect the fact that there are people who are morally superior to me. I don’t feel guilty about being judgmental about certain folks. I didn’t give a shit when they took out Bin Laden. I know I should be a good liberal and cluck my tongue and wish that he’d received a fair trial, but the truth of the matter is that I’m just not that evolved. Hitler? If he’d been burned alive after having railroad spikes put through his eyes and a meat tenderizer shoved up his ass I wouldn’t ever give it a second thought.

When it comes to Fred, I’m ambivalent. I’m not exactly happy he’s dying, but I’m not sad either and I sure as hell don’t wish him a peaceful end. (Not that I wish him a bad end. Just whatever happens, happens.) His estranged son Nathan has written a lot about how Fred verbally, emotionally and physically assaulted his family on a regular basis. That, to me, is Fred’s real crime. People talk about how many people Fred hurt with his protests. In the case of some of the early funerals the Westboro Baptist Church protested I suppose that’s true. I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like to have been Matthew Shepard’s mother, for example, and have to put up with the Phelpses’ perverted circus of hate after her son had been tortured and left to die.

But people organized pretty quickly to counter and shield the WBC’s funeral protests, and I think Fred Phelps ended up doing a lot more to further gay rights than he did to get people on his side. Consider that many people who were on the fence about gay rights may have been pushed into the light when they saw for themselves that discrimination is nothing more than a thin veil for hate and vitriol. Fred and his “church” put an ugly, concrete face on LGBT hate. As far as anyone knows, Fred and his church never physically attacked any gay person and I honestly don’t think his shenanigans incited anyone to attack gay people. Anybody who was going to do that was going to do it with or without Fred’s blessing.

But if Nate Phelps is to be believed—and I for one believe him—then Fred terrorized his own family in ways that are the stuff of nightmares.

Here’s what I hope: I hope that with Fred’s passing comes the end of his stupid church. I hope it falls apart. I hope that more of his children and grandchildren open their eyes and their hearts and realize that Fred was full of shit.

Nathan reports that his dad was excommunicated from his own church in 2013. Wow. Why? Could it be that Fred repented? Or even better—that he came out of the closet? Just imagine what a sadly ironic end to a life gone wrong that would be. The LGBT community is too good for the likes of Fred.

Even though I'm not unhappy he’s dying, I also wouldn't bother protesting his funeral. Because he's not worth it.