Things for which I am grateful, and things I hope

First and foremost, I am grateful that my child is healthy. (Knock wood.) I am grateful to have a husband who sees me as a full and equal partner and human on this planet. I am grateful for their love to me, and I am grateful that I can share my love with them.

I am grateful to have so many kick-fucking-ass friends right now. Both close friends and acquaintances. Most of my friends understand what a fucked-up move electing Trump to the presidency is. They understand it and they are going to fight it. They are clever, and intelligent and funny and their insight is making it so I can laugh occasionally, even though things feel so heavy and dark right now.

These are the things I hope for our future:

I hope that Donald Trump is a better president than all our wildest dreams. I hope that his economic policies lift the people out of despair who need it the very most. I hope that the people who believe money trumps civil rights make enough money so that they can feel kindness toward those who may not look like themselves.

I hope Trump disappoints the racists by not building his stupid fucking wall. I hope he has something to say about police brutality. I hope he addresses income inequality and surprises us on the environment. 

I hope the country can come together. I sincerely, sincerely mean those things.

I also hope that Donald Trump hates every fucking second of his new job. I hope he’s awake 20 hours of every day, 7 days a week, for the next 4 years. I hope it is a depressing, anxiety-inducing, waking, walking, talking, horrible nightmare. I hope he is mad that he can’t play golf whenever he feels like it. I hope he gets pissed that he can’t fuck women without a Secret Service agent listening outside the room. I hope that his big empty head explodes when he figures out that he’s not a dictator, but a prisoner.

Even if he ends up being a halfway-not-so-horrible president, I hope this is the penance Big Don pays for jacking this country around as though it was his own personal episode of Survivor. And if it ends up that he does turn out to be the shitty, racist, vicious, misogynist pig president me and my friends are worried about, the kind who enacts horrible humanitarian policies and sends us down the economic tubes, then he deserves to hate his fucking job, anyway.

Finally, I hope YOU have a lovely day!